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Dog owners know their pups are full of love and loyalty, even if they express it in ways different from our own. But recent research delivered a surprising and bittersweet revelation: most dogs don’t actually enjoy being hugged.
While this might be disappointing for affectionate humans, it doesn’t mean dogs aren’t affectionate in return—they just speak a different emotional language. Hugs can make dogs feel trapped or anxious, as they instinctively value freedom of movement.
Instead of hugs, show your dog love through belly rubs, tasty treats, cheerful praise, or playtime. These simple gestures communicate affection and trust in ways they truly understand and enjoy. By learning to love them on their terms, you’ll strengthen your bond and show your devotion in a way that makes them feel happy, secure, and loved.
Gaze Deeply Into Their Eyes
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Dr Brian Hare, Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at Duke University, topped the NY Times bestseller list with his book, The Genius of Dogs. In an interview with Anderson Cooper this past Spring, he told the dog-loving newsman that when your dog stares at you, he is “hugging you with his eyes.”
This doesn’t mean you should stare deeply into the eyes of the dog that guards your local junkyard! Direct eye contact is still considered a challenge or threat in many situations. But with your trusted pet, try gazing into his eyes when you are calmly relaxing.
Speak softly, stroke him gently, and maintain eye contact. According to Hare, these quiet moments stimulate the release of Oxytocin in the canine brain – the same hormone that bonds mother and child.
Raise Your Eyebrows
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A Japanese study published in the September 2013 volume of Behavioral Processes found that dogs raise their eyebrows – especially the left one – when greeted by their owners. Using a high-speed camera, they scrutinized the dogs’ facial movements when seeing their owners vs. strangers.
When the strangers came along to greet them, the test dogs displayed far less facial activity, most of which was right-sided. The significance is that the right brain controls the left side of the face and is tied to emotion, while the left brain controls the right side of the face and is tied to analytical behaviors.
The more facial activity you display when greeting your dog, the more they know they are loved. If you can raise one eyebrow (sadly, I cannot), then make it to the left one. Your pup will really feel special!
Lean On Them
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Not just figuratively, but press your weight against your dog physically. Not to the point where he feels cornered (or crushed!), but just a little to show you trust him. Our pups do this to display their affection for us, which is often overlooked.
Have you ever had your pooch press up against the backs of your legs while you’re busy in the kitchen? That’s a type of dog hug! Try giving him one right back.
Let Them Sleep With You
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Emory University neuroscientist Gregory Berns is the author of How Dogs Love Us, and he has spent decades studying the canine brain using MRI. According to his research, sleeping with a human is the ultimate display of love and trust our dogs can give because that is when they are most vulnerable.
It also shows that they consider us a member of their pack. If you have a No Dogs in Bed policy, try snuggling up on the sofa or floor for a few minutes daily to show affection.
Rub Their Ears
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A pat on the head might feel natural to show praise, but rubbing your dog’s ears may express more love. When you rub your dog’s ears, their bodies produce endorphins. Endorphins are hormones that cause pleasure for your pup. A gentle ear massage in a circular motion is enough for your dog to know how you feel.
Spend Quality Time Together
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Engaging in fun activities with your dog is a great way to help your bond grow. Going for walks, playing fetch, or working on training are all ways to show your dog you care. These activities bring you and your dog closer together.
When your dog sees you having fun, they’ll feel happy too. In addition to feeling loved, your dog will get the exercise and mental stimulation they need.
Keep Using the “Baby Voice”
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We all do it! As dog parents, it’s hard to resist having conversations in a high-pitched voice with our dogs. It might be embarrassing to admit, but dogs enjoy it. They respond well to the exaggerated emotions in your voice, and it helps them know you’re addressing them.
So, there’s no need to feel crazy if you talk to your dog. Odds are, their love for you grows even stronger when you do. Reading to dogs is another special way to bond with them.
Give Them a Loving Touch
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Not every act of love has to be grand. You can show your dog you love them just by petting them. Touching a dog releases oxytocin, a hormone that makes you feel good. So, if your dog enjoys it, there’s no reason to hold back on the pets and belly rubs.
Adding an extra touch to your dog’s routine, such as a massage, grooming session, or extended petting time, might make your dog feel more loved. Most dogs will happily welcome the extra attention.
Just Be Yourself
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Throughout his extensive research Dr. Berns has found that although it’s sometimes hard for us to tell what our dogs are thinking, they definitely do not have the same problem reading our emotions! If your love is true for your pups, they know it by reading your voice, body language, and actions. So just keep doing what you’re doing, and your dogs will reward you by showing affection in their own special ways.
