How to deal with the loss of a pet

DEIDRE SAYS: They provide constant companionship and unconditional love, so it’s no wonder that for so many owners, the death of a beloved pet can be absolutely devastating. 

1) How to deal with the loss of a pet 

It is no exaggeration to describe many animals as valued members of the family, so when one dies it can be just as hard to deal with as the death of a person. And like any bereavement it takes time to mourn your loss. 

• Connect with others: Grief is better shared. A trusted friend or family member is always a good place to start. But if that’s not possible, the Dear Deidre team can always help. Sometimes just sharing your sadness with someone is enough to help you process your grief. Connect with other pet owners and ask to join them on their walks to keep a sense of routine. There are also plenty of support groups online for you to join for example: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Cornishk9/

• Remembrance: Ask your friends and family to share their memories of your pet. Create a photo album, or put up a portrait, to help you to commemorate your time together so you can look back over fond memories. 

• Saying Goodbye: Letting go can feel incredibly hard but planning what to do with your pet’s ashes may help you to let go and find a place for your grief. You might also find peace in releasing the ashes in a place your pet loved to roam. Consider spreading them at their favourite tree, park, a beach, or your backyard if you’d prefer to keep them close. 

• Plan for another pet: While there is no replacing the love you have for your pet, many people find comfort in having another dog or cat to look after. There’s no shame in buying another pet. In fact it will help to keep a sense of routine and you’ll find new joy through building a new bond when the time is right for you. 

• Positive Rituals: To help remember your pet’s life in a positive way rather than hiding from what can become painful memories, plant a tree, or flowers in one of their favourite spots and visit regularly to reconnect with the happy times they gave you.

• Seek support: If your loss has coincided with another loss or major life change, consider getting further help, such as talking therapy or counselling. The Blue Cross also offers a Pet Bereavement Support Service (PBSS) and they can help support you come to terms with your grief. 

2) How long does grieving last after losing a pet? 

Grief is a complicated process. 

It takes time to feel like yourself again. Grief is different for everyone so try not to rush the process or compare your grief to other people’s losses.

Any given grieving period can vary significantly from person to person. 

Generally acute grief after the loss of a pet can last from one to three months and general symptoms can continue, on average, for six months to a year. Although you will never forget your beloved pet, the intensity of your sadness should balance out over time. If after a year, you are still struggling, it is worth considering support from a counsellor.

3) Is losing a pet a bereavement? 

Bereavement is the experience of losing someone important to us – whether it be a partner, family member, friend or pet.

This is a period of deep sadness, where we process difficult emotions as we gradually adjust to life without them.

While those who have never bonded with a pet may struggle to understand the depth of your loss, those who have had similar experiences to you will be best placed to empathise with how you are feeling. 

So do reach out to other pet owners and particularly those who have been through a pet bereavement.

More advice is available in our Coping With Bereavement support pack. 

4) Can I take time off work when my pet dies?

Currently, there is no legal requirement to give people time off when a pet dies. It is down to the discretion of your employer and so it’s a good idea to check with your department head if you’re struggling as they may offer a short period of compassionate leave.

Whatever your worry, remember you’re not alone. The Dear Deidre team includes experienced counsellors (and pet lovers) and will be able to recommend your best next steps to help get your life back on track. 
For a support pack and personalised advice, email us at deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk or for a prompt response, message us on Facebook.