In 2010, I was fostering a pair of kittens when my mom called me and said that it was time, she and my dad were ready for new cats. They had lost the last of their elderly cats and as my mom was an excellent raiser of kittens, she wanted to adopt the two I had been fostering. When they were old enough and ready to be adopted, I brought them over to my parents’ house and helped my mom get them settled. My dad came home from work that day to kittens he had no idea were going to be there. Fifteen years later, my mom is gone, but my dad still has those two cats and they are his world.
One of the concerns that people have with giving pets as gifts is that the person getting them may not want them. I can see why there would be concern about this aspect, but in the 17 years I have been doing this work, I have gotten a gifted pet returned to the shelter as unwanted only once. Why would that be? In general, people who are looking for a pet as a gift are doing so for someone they know very well, have already discussed having a pet with them and are comfortable with their desire to have one, like my parents. My mom surprised my dad with the kittens, secure in how well she knew him and that she knew he would be delighted. As always, she was right.
The ASPCA conducte3d a survey of people who acquired pets as gifts. They found, “…96% of the people who received pets as gifts thought it either increased or had no impact on their love or attachment to that pet. The vast majority of these pets are still in the home (86%).” Perhaps most importantly, they found, “…no difference in attachment based on the gift being a surprise or known in advance.”
Whenever we talk to someone about giving a pet as a gift, our first request is to have the person whose pet it will be come to the shelter and pick out the pet that they connect with. We also offer gift certificates so the adoption cost can be gifted if the gift giver cannot be there at the time of adoption. Sometimes coming to the shelter is not feasible for those with mobility issues or other reasons that they cannot come to the shelter. We then ask to speak to the future caregiver on the phone to discuss the pet and their needs to make sure it is a good match and involve them in the adoption process.
The only times when we are willing to do the adoption as a total surprise to the recipient is when we have someone who lives with that person and is willing to do the care for the pet and take legal responsibility and ownership by signing the adoption contract paperwork. Such was the situation with my parents; the kittens were a surprise for my dad, but my mom and I both knew she was the one doing the cat-care heavy lifting. She made the vet appointments, did the nail trims, etc. and was fully participating in their ongoing care and was the adopter of record.
That brings us to the big question: what about pets as gifts to children? It is very common for parents to get pets as gifts to their kids, but it is usually in the context of adding on a family pet. Our adoption staff frequently help parents discuss the age-appropriate responsibilities of having a pet with children as part of the adoption counseling process with families, but we will not adopt a pet to be solely cared for by a child. There needs to be an adult involved and monitoring the needs and care of the pet. Most parents are way ahead of us and have already assumed that responsibility, but once in a while we have a difficult conversation with someone who wants the pet to be the child’s sole responsibility. Kids’ brains are not fully developed, they are still growing and learning, and they are not ready to take on adult responsibilities and being solely responsible for a dependent living creature is an adult responsibility. Even little pets, like hamsters and mice, who are generally easier to care for than a dog or a cat, still need to have their overall wellbeing and care monitored by an adult.
Many pets will be given as gifts across the country over the next few weeks. From the week before Christmas up until New Year’s, we will do more adoptions than any other time of year. People naturally think about adding a pet to their home at this time of year and we want to make sure as many pets get to find their families as possible. Working with people to give responsibly given gifts is a large part of that, within our reasonable criteria.
Jess Townsend is executive director of Midcoast Humane
