DEAR PET TALK: I think my cat needs a therapist. When I adopted her, she was really shy and it is taking her a long time to warm up. What can I do? —Cat Mama
DEAR CAT MAMA: The very first “self-proclaimed” cat therapist was a wonderful writer named Carole Wilbourn. She passed away last month, after a long and successful career writing books about cats — their behavior, their emotions, and their response to stimuli or trauma. Wilbourn also practiced Reiki, which is a science of light touch for healing. In her “Complete Guide to Understanding and Caring for Your Cat,” this phrase speaks to your situation:
“Cats are usually attracted to mellow, moody, or even depressed people because they are nonthreatening. Repelled by violent or loud energy, a cat can feel your body expand when you’re relaxed and your body contract when you’re angry,” she writes. This means — take your time. Sit on the couch. Be still. Don’t have the TV on — read a book, or sit quietly.
When I’ve been around shy cats, sometimes sitting on the floor is enough to make them curious. If your attention is elsewhere (reading a book, or being on your phone but not talking), she may be curious and feel more comfortable. Also, consistency in feeding times is another important feature for helping cats feel “at home.” Put the food down in a bowl at fixed times in morning and evening. See whether she doesn’t come find you when it’s dinner time!
Finally, make sure your cat has a comfortable spot by a window to enjoy sunlight. Cats don’t need to be out of doors, but they love relaxing in a sunbath. And remember, humans have been living with cats for thousands of years. Unless she’s a truly feral cat (which you didn’t indicate), chances are she wants to figure out how to have a relationship with you.
And she needs your patience. Some cats can come out of a shelter environment and be fine in a home; others take weeks, even months. In the meantime — don’t overwhelm her with too much talking, too many toys, or too many treats. Be patient, and give her time. It is worth the wait!
Sally Cragin is the director of Be PAWSitive: Therapy Pets and Community Education. Visit us on Facebook and call/text questions to 978-320-1335
