DEAR ABBY: Ever since we first began dating, I told my wife I never wanted to own a dog. She seemed to be OK with it, but over the last 10 years, she has put intense pressure on me to get one. She now says she “doesn’t remember” our original conversation and says she never would have agreed to it.
She works, and I stay at home with the kids, so it would be my responsibility to take care of the pet, which I refuse to do. I feel physically sick around dogs, but because I don’t actively sneeze around them, she thinks I’m making up my sensitivity.
She is now rallying the kids against me. We live a transient lifestyle that would force us to kennel the dog for one to three months a year, which would cost money we don’t have. I’m tired of this conversation, and tired of feeling like I’m “ruining her life.” What should I do? — DOGLESS IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR DOGLESS: Since you are outvoted, ask your doctor to refer you to an allergist, a physician whose practice involves the diagnosis and treatment of allergies, because there are solutions to the problem.
Once that’s dealt with, INSIST before adopting a dog that YOUR CHILDREN be responsible for feeding, walking and training the animal — with penalties if they don’t. The responsibility will teach them lessons that will prove valuable when they are older. As to what to do with the new family member during the time you’re traveling, either find pet-friendly places to stay or make it your wife’s task to find a boarding situation for “her” dog that won’t break the bank.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
