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Home PETS

How having a pet can benefit children and teach skills for life

by Doggone Well Staff
January 30, 2024
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How having a pet can benefit children and teach skills for life
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“They are mood-changers,” says Eve McDonnell about the impact of the family’s four pets on her teenage twins.

There’s Happy, the golden retriever whose personality lives up to his name, and the three black cats: Fusspot, a two-and-a-half-year-old rescue cat, has always remained kitten-sized. Socket has two white socks, “is completely wired to the moon” and moved in from the neighbour’s house.

And Brewster, “a big macho, muscly brute of a cat who doesn’t walk — he struts”, who nevertheless strayed in thin and hungry and was completely accepted by the other animals.

For Co Wexford-based Eve and husband Jerry, pets have been part of the household since before Faye and Bobby, 13, were born. One of Faye’s early memories is of “my old dog, Toffee”, a beautiful springer/collie cross. “She was sitting on the sofa. I was upset and crying – being stroppy. I lay down next to her and said ‘you’re my only friend’. I was about six.”

Eve says the pets’ companionship is a “massive benefit” to her children. “It’s becoming more so as they get older. I can leave them longer on their own because you never feel alone with a pet. And with the teen years come trials – friends, study issues. Pets are the best distraction. The kids are able to switch off completely with them.

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“When the chips are down — they’re having a bad day — petting the dog or cat lowers stress hormones. We do it all the time – ‘go and pet the dog/cat’. For Bobby, they’re really the mood-changer. Boys can sometimes find it hard to talk about it if they’re going through an anxious time. If I just put one of the cats on his lap or bring the dog to him, it really helps.”

Eve says the animals also teach children about empathy and taking responsibility for beings other than themselves. “They consider how the animal feels. Are they happy? Why is the cat/dog shaking? Is the wind too strong? Is it cold outside? Are they hungry, bored?

“Pets are great for getting kids involved in the day-to-day running of the house. Cleaning out their water bowls or feeding the animals — these chores always go down well.”

When Fusspot first arrived, the children expected “a fur-ball to cuddle all day long”, recalls children's books author Eve. “They couldn’t understand why the cat was giving me attention. I had to teach them to give before they get. They had to feed the cat — then she’d come to their lap. They realised it was a trade-off — you create the pet you want.”

Both Faye and Bobby each have a special connection with a particular pet. For Faye it’s Fusspot, for Bobby Socket. “Fusspot’s a very anxious cat,” says Eve. “She hides when someone comes in the house and she’s tiny. Faye got so worried that Fusspot would get stuck somewhere. She got anxious and didn’t know what the feelings were — the pain in her tummy. She had to really work hard at getting over that anxiety and to manage her emotions.

“Now when other things make her anxious, Faye recognises it’s anxiety and knows how to cope.”

Bobby, with “his magic touch with animals” was the one who coaxed an initially scared Socket into the family five years ago. “I first saw her run under our car. I went up to her and she stared at me,” he recalls. “I had to be patient until she came to me. I persuaded her with food. She’d eventually come up and eat it. She was still scared but she trusted me.”

For Eve, the benefits pets bring are almost endless. Walking Happy the dog — Socket accompanies — is great exercise “especially for teen boys into gaming”, and the animals are great ice-breakers when new friends come over. “They spend the first hour playing with the pets.”

Eve McDonnell with her twins, Faye and Bobby, and their dog Happy and cat Socket at home near Gorey, Co. Wexford. Photograph: Patrick Browne

Physical health benefits from pets

Even at a physical health level, research shows furry family members can make a big difference. A Medical College of Georgia study looked at exposure to dogs or cats during the first year of life and later risk of developing sensitivity to common allergens. The team studied 474 healthy babies, following up yearly until the children were six or seven. They were then tested for allergies to dogs, cats, dust mites, ragweed, bluegrass and a particular mould.

They found children growing up around two or more dogs/cats in the first year of life were 66 to 77% less likely to develop allergies than those raised in single-pet- or no-pet homes. Early exposure to pets seemed to cut the risk of developing allergies to domestic animals and other common allergens, e.g. grasses, pollens, moulds.


                            Helen Lewis, associate professor of education at Swansea University and co-author with Russell Grigg of Tails from the Classroom and Dogs in Schools, says pets can benefit children’s physiological development
Helen Lewis, associate professor of education at Swansea University and co-author with Russell Grigg of Tails from the Classroom and Dogs in Schools, says pets can benefit children’s physiological development

Helen Lewis, associate professor of education at Swansea University and co-author with Russell Grigg of Tails from the Classroom and Dogs in Schools, says pets can benefit children’s physiological development. “Stroking an animal can be very relaxing and calming — it releases beneficial hormones and impacts on blood pressure.” 

In fact, various studies have found when children are faced with potentially stressful tasks, the presence of a friendly dog can help lower the child’s heart rate and blood pressure (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9774011/).

Lewis says animals can also have a very positive social impact on children. “Pets bring lots of opportunity to talk, to ask questions, to listen carefully, to work together — taking turns to smooth a dog, to give it a treat. And there’s evidence that pets can improve cognition. Schemes focusing on reading to dogs see lots of benefits. The dog can’t teach the child reading skills — but they make the child more likely to want to have a go at reading.”

Findings from the 2020-published Longitudinal Study of Australian Children found that pets are associated with fewer peer problems and emotional symptoms, and with better pro-social behaviour. “We’ve seen lots of cases where children’s behaviour improves when there’s a dog in the classroom — children don’t want to shout or run around and scare the dog — they develop empathy,” says Lewis.

Unconditional love from pets

For consultant clinical psychologist Dr Claire Hayes, a big benefit of having a pet is the unconditional love it gives the child. “If a child’s feeling a bit insecure – maybe they’ve been left out by their peers – and they go home to their pet, and know they’re loved for who they are, for themselves, this is a huge gift. There’s no judgment – it doesn’t matter whether they got 10 out of 10, or came first in the race. This gives children a huge sense of confidence, self-esteem and wellbeing.”

Caring for a pet also teaches children that there is a life dependent on them/their family. “Pets foster a sense of maturity and responsibility, teaching skills for life — gentleness, maybe boundaries, firmness if the pet isn’t allowed to jump on furniture.”

Hayes says pets play a fundamental role too in helping children work through life’s joys and sadness. “When a treasured pet dies there’s absolute heartbreak. But there’s benefit for children in going through the loss, grief, the intense sadness. Over time, the intensity eases, and there’s space for lovely memories to come in and to have another pet — not to replace the one that’s gone but to share more love with. It’s all a process and it helps the child see this is part of life.”


                            Clinical psychologist Dr Claire Hayes
Clinical psychologist Dr Claire Hayes

But for children to reap benefits from having pets, Hayes says it is essential adults are able to support them — to develop a sense of responsibility so a child is helped to do what’s appropriate, around feeding/cleaning/exercising the animal. 

“It’s important parents give children and pets the space to develop their special relationships. And parents themselves have to be able for the eventual loss of the pet, as well as being able to share with the children the sadness the adults feel around that.”

In Wexford, Eve highlights the importance of considering children when deciding to get a pet. “They’ll need to give the pet time too. They need to be brave enough to mind it – because they will worry about it. It’s important they can live with the scary bits. I’m always amazed at how resilient children are around that. That pets have short lives is no reason not to get a pet.”

Faye and Bobby couldn’t agree more. Faye – for whom Fusspot is “definitely the lifter-upper” — explains: “You feel you’re not alone really, with pets always there.”



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