I can’t get over the death of my dog

She was my friend and companion. I miss her so much; she would always give me the biggest welcome when I came in the door. I keep reliving her final hours and I feel lost without her.

It’s not that I have a lonely life or anything. I have a big family and a busy life. I just feel like there is a big, gaping hole without her and I don’t know how to move on.

I can’t even walk certain paths on the road because it reminds me of her.

People are expecting me to be back to normal now. I try to hide how upset I am because I know most people don’t understand the importance of a pet.

What can I do to get over this?

I’m very sorry to hear this, it really sounds like your dog was one of the family and an important part too. 

The loss of a family pet has to be treated in the same way as a person in one sense because there is a grieving process you have to go through, and it sounds to me that you are right in the middle of that process.

I think some people will be reading this and think I’m off my head, but I know so many people who have gone through this and it’s a really tough time for them.

It really shows what we think of our family pets these days. 

I’m not sure when that changed, pets years ago were just there, and we didn’t value them like we do today. I think we realise now good they are for us and what happiness they bring.

I can see from your letter that your dog really meant a lot to you, and you are right, there is nothing a nice as big welcome when you get in the door.

We all need this from time to time and it sounds like you had it all the time and now that it’s not there anymore you really miss it. 

I do get from your letter that your dog was sick before she was put to sleep and that even the last few hours you had with her were very tough, so it’s fair to say you have been through a lot and still going through it. 

I’d imagine that it was very tough to see your dog sick too, I hate to think of any pet in pain.

Let’s deal with other people thinking you should be back to normal. Don’t mind them. This is your story, and you will be back to normal when you are ready and in your own time, not anyone else’s. 

I would be very upfront with them and say, ‘look I’m still grieving, and I need more time’. Your family will just have to listen to you and take their cues from you.

There is no need to be embarrassed about how you feel, you were very close to your dog, and you are upset, they’ll have to be there for you. 

I think you are right, a lot of people don’t understand the importance of pets and if you meet people who don’t, you should remind them how good they are for us.

Now that is the other people dealt with, now on to you. I’m going to come straight out with it, I think you should get another dog, maybe not for another while though. I think you need to deal with what’s happening at the moment and then in time, in your own time, you should get a new one. 

Think of the amazing journey you had with the last one and you could do it all over again. 

You could have another big welcome waiting for you when you get home. When you get a new dog, you don’t have to forget the last one, you will have all the fond memories from before and now new ones as well.

You have a big family and busy life and maybe this is where more focus should go for the coming weeks and months. 

Staying busy is always a good distraction and will take your mind off what has happened. 

It’s not that you can totally forget about it, but it’s good not to be 100% focused on that either. That would be bad for your health.

So back to your question, how do you move on, well in your own time first of all. 

I really do think chatting to your friends and family about how you feel will be good for you, a problem shared and all that. 

I think you might find that you’re not alone in this grief, there might be others who are very sad about this too and they haven’t said anything. 

Come back to normal in your own time and I really think you should get a new dog when you’re ready.

Maybe get one of the kids or grandchildren to pick it with you. There are so many beautiful dogs out there looking for a good home and yours would be perfect.

To finish you started by saying you ‘can’t get over it’. Well, you have to. 

You have a loving family all around you and they will be there for you. You will look back at this time in a few months when you’ll be out the other side, so be strong.