A woman has been backed online for refusing to rehome her rescue husky, who suffers from severe separation anxiety.
Redditor u/LeddyyM shared how she adopted Odin seven months ago after he had been malnourished and neglected. Since then, he's formed a strong attachment to her—and struggles when left alone.
“Unfortunately, if he's left home alone we'll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado,” she wrote in the subreddit Am I Overreacting, where her post garnered 21,000 upvotes.
According to the woman, their vet prescribed trazodone to help manage Odin's anxiety, which they give him before family events or outings where dogs aren't allowed. She added that she's able to bring Odin to her job at a dog grooming salon.
“I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he's not scared and anxious. It's created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can't do anything without considering Odin,” she explained.
Despite trying training, Odin has destroyed doors, couches and other furniture when left alone. Her husband believes rehoming the dog is the only solution, but she fears the husky would end up in a shelter and possibly be euthanized.
“I'm scared that he'll… feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with. He's such a happy boy when he's around us and shows so much affection,” she wrote. After a particularly bad argument, she took Odin and checked into a dog-friendly hotel for a few nights.
“My husband thinks I'm crazy and that I'm choosing the dog over our marriage. AITA?”
fotocelia/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Expert Insight
Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind in New York City, told Newsweek that unresolved caregiving disagreements often create emotional distance between partners.
“It's crucial for couples to start with an open, non-judgmental conversation,” she said. “Each partner should express their feelings, fears, and concerns without interrupting, acknowledging the emotional strain the situation has put on both sides. They need to collaborate on a feasible dog care plan which includes specific goals and timelines while maintaining regular check-ins about their progress.
“The root of the conflict lies not in choosing between the dog and the marriage, but in examining how each partner manages their emotional responsibilities and stress. The woman shows compassion through her commitment to the dog, but her husband interprets this as emotional neglect towards their relationship. Both individuals put forth logical justifications with one argument supporting animal welfare and the other favoring a balanced partnership.”
Reddit Reacts
One professional dog trainer and behaviorist explained that separation anxiety deeply affects both the pet and their owner.
“Separation anxiety is a behavior issue that has a huge impact on the owner's emotional and mental state (besides the dog's, obviously). You may feel trapped, you may feel like you have to always think ahead and find alternatives for your dog, you might be dealing with anxiety and many other feelings. It's definitely not easy so it's understandable if it's taking a toll on your husband emotionally and in your relationship,” they commented.
They recommended a combination of training and medication, and urged the couple to find a force-free trainer who specializes in separation anxiety. “It's a slow process sometimes, but at least you're working for the future of being able to leave him alone and everyone healing,” they added.
Commenters offer empathy and advice
“I had a Rottweiler with severe social anxiety… crate training is underrated. I hate that people deemed it cruel. It can be, but not if done properly,” one user shared.
Another offered encouragement: “I stuck with training every single day… after six months, I saw the changes really sticking. Training takes time! And sometimes you have to try different trainers.”
Newsweek reached out to u/LeddyyM for comment via Reddit. We couldn't verify the details of the case.
Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.