Highlights
- Dragon Age games feature various pettable creatures, from snoufleurs to deepstalkers.
- Some forbidden pets include halla and werewolves, raising consent and cultural boundaries.
- High dragons, despite being terrifying, are also pettable, showcasing their epic nature.
Video game developers have finally reached the point where they realize that players pretty much always want to pet something. Dogs, cats, eldritch abominations, it's all fair game if you're cool. Luckily, more and more games have become cool lately. So why has Dragon Age taken so long to let you pet something besides your perfect little Mabari war dog?
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Sure, Dragon Age: The Veilguard lets you get all snuggly with Davrin's baby griffon Assan, but you're still surrounded by cuddly monsters who would obviously stop attacking on the spot if they could sense your good vibes. Besides, not all of them are mean anyway. So, which animals would you pet given the chance?
10 Snoufleurs
- Squishy.
- Easy to catch for hugs.
It's a proven fact that the rounder and squishier something is, the cuter it is. Just look at Santa Claus and hippos, two entities that have surprisingly little else in common. You know you want to hug them both, despite the obvious danger to your health, whether through dismemberment or cookie overdose (not saying which is which).
The same applies to snoufleurs, rotund tapir-like creatures native to Orlais whose name quite possibly comes from finding the most insufferable way to say “snuffler”. They're non-hostile and slow enough to catch and hug if Dragon Age: Inquisition actually lets you. It feels like BioWare is just teasing players at this point.
9 Fennecs
- Cute little fuzzy guys.
- Those floppy ears.
This is an easy sell and possibly cheating. Fennecs in Inquisition are basically just your average real-life Fennec fox in a fantasy setting. They even make the same endearing little growly yell sound.
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But come on, you know that every time you see a fennec running off with its big ears flopping about in the breeze, you absolutely wish there was a “don't worry, I'm friendly” button. There's even a fun codex entry you can find that's just a rich little girl begging her parents for a pet fennec. Clearly, BioWare knew from the start what kind of magic they held.
8 Halla
- Possibly sacred.
- Definitely fuzzy.
This is one of those forbidden pets, not because it's dangerous or anything, but because you'd be hard-pressed to explain to the Dalish elves why you're trying to cuddle with one of their revered companions. Your coercion rank had better be through the roof for this one.
The Dalish never force the halla to be their beasts of burden, always offering a choice. So it's fair that they usually get first dibs on the head pats. But you know your hand is always tempted whenever you encounter one of these big bougie deer.
7 Deepstalkers
- Cool lizardy skin.
- Cute noises when they're trying to eat you.
As proud members of the ‘would pet if we knew it wouldn't eat us' family, deepstalkers will very much eat you given the chance. But it's not their fault. They need to eat, and those frankly rather horrifying toothy worm heads of theirs are uniquely suited for that purpose.
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Even so, they look like adorable little dinosaurs, and you know full well you thought they were kind of cute before you got a really close look. Those little squeaky sounds they make even further advance their appeal. Plus, their skin probably feels really cool, like a bearded dragon. Deepstalkers deserve a nice rub behind the ears, even if they're likely to take the hand with them.
6 Bronto
- Mostly friendly.
- Like a tank you can pet.
If the elves can pet the halla, then you know the dwarves do the same with their bronto. Basically the equivalent of having a domesticated rhino around to do your heavy lifting, bronto are largely docile creatures integral to dwarven society. They also deserve cuddles.
Their tough hides are often used as leather and even for the creation of dwarven weapons. But that just means you'll have to really dig deep to make them enjoy the nice back rub you're giving them. Clearly, you'd be doing the bronto a service.
5 Werewolves
- Look how fuzzy.
- Ask for consent first, seriously.
Petting a werewolf is probably far more forbidden than a halla. For one, they'll probably tear you apart for trying. For another, they're sapient creatures, which brings concerns of consent into play. Let's be real; the latter is the only potential dealbreaker for most of you.
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Unfortunately, werewolves' fur looks super soft and cozy, even in Dragon Age: Origins' extremely 2009 graphics. So these cursed lycanthropes will probably always have someone itching to give them a good ear scritch. Honestly, the idea of petting one (with their permission, of course) is probably the only legitimate argument against curing their curse.
4 Nugs
- Kind of bunny, kind of pig.
- Leliana named hers “Schmooples.”
Leliana understood this way back in Dragon Age: Origins, when she praised “those cute subterranean bunny-pigs” upon a visit to Orzammar. Nugs have been among the most adorable animals in the series since the beginning, and that description is all the reason you need.
Even the games themselves know it, letting your player character adopt a nug for Leliana in Origins and somehow making them even more huggable-looking in Inquisition. Yet, you still can't give them the love they deserve. The closest we've gotten is the mighty war nug, which is a real thing you can ride like a horse. Also, yes, war nugs deserve pets too.
3 Phoenixes
- Feathers are probably nice and soft.
- Make sure you have good running shoes.
If you saw a giant, fearsome, feathered beast resembling a dinosaur attacking various passers-by, what would your reaction be? There's no need to answer. If you're like us, your first thought would be ‘what do those feathers feel like?'
Basically a horse-sized T-Rex, your average phoenix brings chaos and death in its wake wherever it treads. If its bite doesn't dispatch you, its rotten breath will ensure you regret the experience. But who wouldn't want to be the first to tell their friends they got to pet one? Who cares if you're missing an arm afterward?
2 Storvacker
- Friendly bear.
- If she can feel guilt, she can feel pets.
Regular bears in Dragon Age: Inquisition range from nuisance to ‘ok, maybe we're actually not ready for the Emerald Graves.' But there's one that bypasses all of that spite-worthy nonsense, and that's Storvacker from the Jaws of Hakkon DLC.
You meet Storvacker when you rescue her from a cult, and eventually, you actually get to judge her while using an impressive amount of bear puns. Her sorrowful face during those proceedings just makes you want to bury your face in her likely horrifically matted fur, and it's a shame such an act isn't available at her trial. The justice system is a joke.
1 High Dragons
- Go ahead.
- See what happens.
Don't be coy. You know you've thought about it. Maybe when you're slowly trotting up to that last dragon in the Emprise du Lion while it's just sleeping there peacefully. You briefly wanted to give its massive scales a little stroke before it could make that cheap screech move where it summons dragonlings, didn't you? These are some of the best dragons in video games, after all. They deserve that respect.
High dragons feel like a shame to take out, despite the fact that they're all terrorizing the countryside with various varieties of burnination. They're epic creatures that stand above all other natural beasts. Sure, defeating one in battle is a sign of true prowess. But you know what would be even more impressive? Hugging one and making it your friend.
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