In l’affaire de Mahua Moitra and Jai Anand Dehadrai, the three-year relationship has given way to a dogfight the likes of which gossip-hungry Lutyens’ Delhi has not seen for a while. Charges range from corruption, cash-for-question (Dehadrai) to stealing, coercion, jilted lover (Moitra) but the nub of the problem is Henry, the three-year-old rottweiler the couple co-parented. Dehadrai says he paid for the dog and has taken care of it since he was 40 days old while Moitra says the pooch, who has an Instagram account and 249 followers, is hers and has reportedly offered to barter it if the ex-boyfriend would make nice and withdraw his complaints.
The problem that plagued divorcing couples has reached live-in, committed relationships as well. Who gets Tommy, Fluffy or in this case Henry after the breakup? Lawyers say that the person who adopts, pays or is the primary caregiver has a stronger case in custody battles. Celebrity divorce lawyer Mrunalini Deshmukh says that pet custody has become as important an issue during a split as child custody. “People are very conscious and aware of their responsibilities to a pet and act like they would for the well-being of a child,” she says.
When a Delhi-based art curator and her filmmaker boyfriend broke up this year, there was no acrimony over assets or money because both were independent financially and did not have children. But a major point of contention was co-parenting their dog and cat. “They realised that they could not separate the dog and the cat because both animals had a very strong emotional bond. So, now they have negotiated a way out. The pets stay with one parent at a time and expenses are shared. But let’s admit, each would like to get out of the other’s face, but they are forced to maintain an amicable relationship,” a close friend says.
Some well-known international divorces have found a way to nego tiate pet custody. Some just split the pets between themselves like Britney Spears and Sam Asghari did when they divorced, as did Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. Sofia Vergara happily gave away Bubbles to her ex-husband, though some others have come round to the idea of co-parenting like film stars Naga Chaitanya and Samantha Ruth Prabhu. Despite their 2021 divorce, Chaitanya took care of Samantha’s French bulldog Hash while she was travelling to Dubai and Australia recently.
Kanupriya Kejriwal, a Mumbai-based family lawyer who has negotiated a few pet custody cases in recent years, says for pet parents, it’s quite an emotive issue. “As lawyers we need to be sensitive and not undermine their emotions and desires,” she says.
Some conditions that have been included in recent divorce agreements are that if the pet falls sick then the co-parent will be informed within 12 hours, and visitation rights will be allowed at the spouse’s home if the pet is too unwell to be moved. There are clauses to ensure equal time between both parents. “We have even accommodated requests like if one parent is travelling, then the other must have first right of refusal to care for the pet instead of a pet handler. Decisions and expenses about pet training, grooming, vaccinations are shared like child support,” she says.
But even with these detailed agreements, there are points of friction like who will have custody of the pet on its birthday (since both parents want to celebrate it) or the parent’s birthday (as they want to share their joy with their pet). Lawyers say they have to work out compromises on sharing the pet’s time equally during festivals, special occasions and vacations which can lead to emotionally exhausting discussions. There can also be complications when an ex visits too often, upsetting the new partner.
But it’s not always bitter. Speaking about a case where she represented a warring banker and homemaker, divorce lawyer Payal Shethia says that the couple set aside their differences for the two stray dogs they had adopted. “They feared that the dogs might land back on the road if they were negligent. They agreed to the banker being the primary caregiver and the homemaker getting month-long custody thrice a year,” she says.
Kejriwal says sometimes one partner might feel that they bear the burden of the caregiving work. “In one case that I was involved in, one parent decided not to pay for child custody because they were incurring expenses in taking care of the dog who was ill,” she says.
